As i'm looking on the inside.I see the breaks, tears, and rips. Not sure where they came from.
Just knowing they need to be fixed. From guy to guy. Hurt to hurt.
I'm beginning to wonder if i'm even fit for this.
I cant seem to find where I fit right in. Most guys are great when you meet them , but after a few weeks its a new story.
I know i'm not perfect , but I don't ask for much.
I want to be love respected and honored. I need to feel I to matter.
Perhaps I'm just a handful. A little too much of one for these guys now days.
I demand too much maybe. i've sat back and let a guy control and i lost myself in the middle of it all
I promised myself id never do that again. its almost like I cant find the perfect guy for me.
What seems to be perfect changes in minutes. I want to feel happy for the rest of my life.
Not because of a guy ,but because i want to be happy.
I don't know if you can fully give a guy what he needs or wants , but I know when the time is right prince charming will sweep me off my feet.
I can truly say that gifts and flowers don't completely make me happy.
I need to find joy in a males emotions.
I love so hard when i love a man. Dear man whoever you are out there. Wherever you are I love you. For i'm your future wife, and I want to marry you. I want to fulfill what it is that you need from a wife. I'd never cheat on you, id never make you feel uncomfortable. Well at least id try my hardest.
I know there's no such thing as perfection but for you i want to be that.. I want to be that perfect wife. Hopefully one day ill fill those shoes.
I'm into love and fairy tales, but i'm not into a forced one that maybe after all was just in my mind.
I guess you sold me thoughts of you that i thought were true.
I learned along the way that maybe i don't know all of you.
Your an amazing guy, but there's just some things you do that confuses me.
Things that hurt me. You openly do on purpose, and then admit it was dumb. Please don't be sorry with me if your not sorry. I'm woman enuff to accept that you feel different and we don't agree.
Its not right to just appease me with those i'm sorry words. I know I fall deep so quickly. Maybe thats bad. I jump in head first so excited because I think i've found the one. But perhaps i'm a fool. I just want God to lead me in the right direction. Dear husband , wherever you are i'm your wife and i cant wait till we meet.
love truly my heart and soul....
Angela Simmons ( Open Dairy 2010)
is that a heart on your sleeve? hm..
ReplyDeleteI remember when I heard everyone was writing these. It's really open and honest ... I think I'mma try writing one of these.
ReplyDeleteThat Was So0o cute Ang<3
ReplyDeleteYu shud read my blog I haven't wrote on it in a while tho...
http://britt2fly.blogspot.com/
that was so beautifully honest. I pray your prince is ready for YOU.
ReplyDeleteVery Well said! I hope you find your king, and he treats you like a queen you are!
ReplyDeleteThat was so close to MY heart! I need to borrow this! It is EXACTLY how I feel! Ang are you my long lost sister? We feel so much for a guy and end up getting hurt all in the name of love, and these days guys don't understand how great our worth is {a good woman that is}.
ReplyDeleteAww man I loved every word of this. I can relate to every word of this. We put so much into our relationships b/c that's what we want in return only to see that after those few perfect days have passed, the REAL man reveals himself. But that is their lost Angela. No we are not perfect, but good women;like you and myself will get what we deserve. God has a plan for us; all our qualities will not be put to waste.
ReplyDeleteWOW. THAT WAS GREAT....CAN U FOLLOW ME BACK. ITSSOU5501 I have something I want u to see..thanks
ReplyDeleteI think ur a beautiful bright young lady on tv u seem like the innocent regular girl with a amazing personality . I think that more celebs like ur self should seek a regualar guy that's not a fortunate to have a ego lik the men u probally meet . A regular man would treat u with upmost respect lik myself.
ReplyDeleteWOOOOOOW... this actually made me cry... and I am NOT a hopeless romantic AT ALL. But i feel like I could have written this myself. I feel the exact same way... I do not fall in love much but when i do i fall HARD, and that has recently bitten me in the you know what. Dear Future Husband was good thing to do, shows that you are in preparation. Little advice: i do not know if you do not already do this but i think you should all start praying for your future husband as well. It's a practice that i picked up awhile ago but recent circumstances led me to stop, but i think i'm going to start back.
ReplyDeleteAnyway great post... keep 'em coming and the inspirational tweets.
God Bless You,
GoddessKimberle
Relax, and slow down. Remember when you where 7? And if a boy hit you 7 times in the arm, you knew that he liked you. That's what adult love is. We get all mixed up in emotion, our own perceived concepts, and ideals on how a man should be. I have been asking this simple question since I was 14 to marry couples. The Question is... How did you know? I recently asked a guy that's been married to his wife for 50 years. He said "We balance each other out. I'm junky and she's clean." Here is the key to finding the right guy. Keep you legs close, don't be pressed and wait it out. You will find that a lot of guys are not for you when you take the time to get to know them. Focus on being the best you. Also, the man that you have in your head, might not be who you are gong to marry. I like fairy tails too, but remember that's what they are... fairy tails; preconceived thoughts of perfect in ones mind. You still with me? With all this said, relax sweetie and read Isaiah. Isaiah will let you know how God works. Timing is everything.
ReplyDeleteyour boy!
@chillwillbey
Love is better than materialistic things anyday. A real man let his woman knows she beautiful. The problem now and days is that social networking and clubs control the majority of our lifes . We have forgot the originality of love . How to do basic things , the small things count. People now and days take ur thoughts ur feelings and take it as a they really don't care but I pretend I do. In black communities its cooler to say my Baby mama or Baby daddy than "wife and husband". We must stand up and let the images and ego's go and love .
ReplyDeleteIt's nothing I can say that haven't already been said. It possibly nothing I can do that hasn't already been done. Your the reason i made a blog site to get to know you more as you and not as Rev Run daughter. Meting you will bring be great joy, and i would like to think it would also bring you joy as well. Hope we can syber talk!
ReplyDeleteIt's like you read my thoughts... Sometimes I wonder if I too demand too much attention, or if I'll ever find the one that will be the one forever and not just for that "one" moment... :) great minds think alike lol
ReplyDelete*patience is a virtue*
Wow, that was phenomenal and very deeply honest. I don't have to say much because you have already done so, but I can tell that came from your soul. I watched you on Ustream just the other night and you just seem to fit right in with your fans, even though you are on the outside.(meaning your Angela Simmons) lol. Very Endearing young beautiful lady. Yes, God will lead you in his direction. Welp,I guess that's all for now, I have to go and finish inspiring you wonderful work. It's 5am and I just to happen to check my Uber twitter and this is what I came across, I needed this, I am kind of going through the same thing right now. Thank you.
ReplyDeleteWow weird thing that I read this.....I promise what you wrote (especially the end) is exactly how I feel right now!!!!!!.. But God has a plan for us all and if you live right he has no problem blessing you with the desires of your heart.
ReplyDeleteDelight thyself also in the LORD; and he shall give thee the desires of thine heart.
Psalm 37:4
Love this and your honesty! Great Post!
THIS WAS AWESOME. I WROTE SUMTHING LIKE THIS IN MY OWN DIARY B4. GOOD TO KNW IM NOT THE ONLY ONE IN LOVE WITH MY FUTURE HUSBAND WHOM I HAVE YET TO MEET.
ReplyDeleteThat was so honest of you. You were woman enough to state your flaws & shortcomings and admit that ur not perfect. I hope that God blesses you with exactly what you need and want. God Bless :)
ReplyDeleteawww... you said everything I could never put in words!
ReplyDeletei think it's high time you stopped dating random people and not always think that you need someone in your life. The reality is the perfect guy will always come if you are patient and you will know when he is the one.
ReplyDeleteI love the letter, that's how I feel. I don't want anything to be forced. I want it to be natural. I want the future hsband to love me as if it's second nature. It should be so natural as to breathing every day.
ReplyDeleteThose were my thoughts exactly! Beautiful words! He's coming though...Faith in God lets me know that he is on his way.
ReplyDeleteThis was so good!! I think all of us women feel this way at a certain point, even some married women. Don't settle and know you are worth the wait. Plenty of people jump into marriages with the characters of their men and not who they really are. I feel sometimes we may ask for too much as women but respect, love and honesty are the things that should NOT be sacrificed. I want to write one of these too...GO GIRL!!
ReplyDeleteWell Said Angela...nothing more nothing less!
ReplyDeleteYou know sometimes... It's really inspiration to see that I am not alone... I appreciate your openess... that was brave of you. Thanks for the inspiration Ang!
ReplyDeleteWow Angela, thank you for sharing such truthful words that truly express how hundreds of women, including myself feel! Every word I read touched me so deeply; I felt as if you had read my thoughts on love.. So thank you for putting it in words and sharing that piece with all of us!
ReplyDeleteI'm soo happy that your doing this! It shows me that when I get famous, I don't have to hide behind sunglasses and a hat. I can be open and share what I feel. I love your opened mind and I cant wait to read more. May GOD continue to bless that beautiful heart <3
ReplyDeleteOh Angela I love you so. I Promise you will find a man tho. Besides teyana Taylor you are one of biggest role models. I would love it if you can be my mentor. We are so much alike the only difference is that youve reached for the stars and was able to grab one & although, you may not be at the height of success you'd like to reach yet ; but you've reached a pinnacle in life that I'm trying to reach &im still in highschool. I wish that you can mentor me in my last year of highschool nxt year. xoxo Nicole.
ReplyDelete'He who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from the Lord' PROVERBS 18:22
ReplyDeleteHey Ang! Remain in a place to be found for "he" is coming to get you girlfriend! Be courageous. Be confident. Be fierce. Be secure. Be prayerful. Be watchful. Be wise. Be diligent. Be U.
And GOD will give "him" favor to compliment everything about you! Be Blessed :)
wow!! that was beautiful i love it! im going though the same thing right now im 20 years old and still havent had a real relationship with a man (not a boy a man) lol im saving myself for my future husband. im tryin to put God first in eveything i do cause with out him nothings good. thank u for sharing that with us love ya and God bless :)
ReplyDeleteThis left me speechless; beautifully written & quite reflective of my own life. Thank you for sharing. ;-)
ReplyDeleteWow!!!That was amazing!!! On another note I hope u liked the flowers I sent u @ the Club(Havana Atl).
ReplyDeleteFollow me @BMBGroup
---One Luv---
Diddo... Much love... Guys seem to run from us strong women these days... My oath is to teach my son better to know better than that!
ReplyDeleteFollow me @wrkhrd4it
I love it hunni! I am in waiting mode as well, and in the bible it does say a man that findeth wife he findeth a good thing and obtain favor...I personally I am waiting on God to send him to me because I know it want be a mistake...I hope he finds u and sweep you completely off your feet! I am believing God with u... And when u get your prince I know mine is not to far away....Be blessed Lady!
ReplyDeleteThat hit so close to home.....wow. Speechless
ReplyDeleteOMG!!!! I love this we share the same heart :O)
ReplyDeleteAngela, just to confirm your thoughts and feelings...you will find him :)
ReplyDeleteyou come from a great family, run by a GREAT man! you know what they say about majority of women, they look for a partner who share similar characteristics as their dad :)
Hey gorgeous just want to introduce myself .Im lou & I enjoyed reading ur blog! My day just brightened deep down in your heart your a sweetheart !! I love the way u praise GOD I love reading how u articulate GODS secret messages after church on sunday your testimonials are testiments u always give us a variety of positive energy :) !
ReplyDeleteI say this all the time to young ladies, and I know that they know but it still needs to said. Your only 23, never feel this way about your future - relationship wise. He will come, and if he isn't coming fast enough than go to him.
ReplyDeleteDon't just sit around and wait as if your waiting for a bus, because before you know it you'll be in your mid 30's. give all kinds of men a chance - even the ones who don't make hundred's of thousands $ a year.Too many females always talk about just wanting a man who loves them unconditionally but if the man makes significantly less than them, then the relationship is over - or it never begins.
your a wealthy young woman in the public eye, which makes dating tough because of trust issues.
Robert,
ReplyDeleteUhhh....REALLY? Why would you tell a young lady such a thing? You may as well have said, Go out and band diff.dudes. You don't say anything like that to a young lady. Although I'm sure she is a mature young woman, this type of encouragement should not be brought forth. Just my opinion.......I like Lou's message better. Hey Rob...you should try something like that.
i love dis....its what i cud hav written. I hope u dont mind me puttin it up on my blog? i'll make reference to u tho no worries..
ReplyDeleteAwesome piece!
That was an awesome post! It made me cry.
ReplyDeleteThank you for this entry! It's tough for us guys too. It's reassuring to know that females who value male sincerity exist.
ReplyDeleteWe get knocked into the "bachelors" lifestyle. You are know my official celebrity crush lol!
"now"
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteThis is a great post. =)
ReplyDeleteI can relate to this, you might of taken the words out of some of us women's hearts. I hope you find Prince Charming =)
You won’t find what you’re looking for by dating rappers or pro-athletes (the norm for so many young notable women of color). Heck that goes for the younger and older women - I just saw Vivica Fox showing off her latest “thug” companion on national television. Incredible. This is definitely the trend, although a horrible one. It sets a bad example for the everyday girls who look up to young women like you, Alicia Keys, Vivica Fox, etc etc etc.
ReplyDeleteI assumed you would go in that same direction, especially with a family so immersed in the world of rap/hip hop. It’s tough because this is all you may know in terms of a blueprint. Although your father seems to be a good man and is not really the bad example I am pointing to. But most others from the rap world, with few exceptions, don’t represent the best options for husband/father.
There are plenty of men out there who are smart, educated, grounded, gentlemen/family men. They may not be as exciting as the NFL or NBA guy, the celeb, or the rapper…and some may be a little nerdy (but still cool)…but the point is, they tend to make better men. You don’t want a guy who has the traits of the wild, playboy & badboy as a husband and potential father of your children anyway. Those are traits you want to avoid. There are messages sent to young black women everyday that tell them to date the badboy and that there is something wrong with dating an egg head. Black women are virtually programmed this way in fact. But It’s perfectly ok to go for the egg head, and for the sake of so-called “Black America” that message should be sent more often. Right now, there are too many women, especially women of color, laying down with men who were never going to be good men, or good fathers.
You will of course have to look for that man…. You can’t just sit there. You will have to do a little work yourself…even if it is just positioning yourself in the places where these men are (hint…you won’t find him in the hip hop nightclub on Friday night). You may have to completely change your thinking on who that man could be and where to find him. Smart, decent men are often on college campuses, at book signings, nerd movies, jazz concerts, in the classroom, tech conventions, hobby groups, singles mixers, the coffee shop, volunteer program, grocery store, or just working their ordinary jobs.
In closing, it will be interesting to see which way you go. I will make you a test case for my theory on women (I already know that the theory is true…and that it works, but I like to test it on occasion just for confirmation) lol.
Twitter: @Bryon592
I agree with "The Angry Independent".
ReplyDeleteAlso I'd like to say that you have to ask the Lord (I'm pretty sure you have done that already) to send you a husband (mention everything that you want in a guy) and let God take care of the rest. He knows our hearts and our deepest desires but we wont receive if we don't ask. When the time is right (and most importantly if its in His will) he will send you your husband when you least expect it. That's how it always happens. For right now just enjoy yourself (self love is the bomb) and saturate yourself in the love of Jesus. Just enjoy being in love with Him and don't concentrate so hard on finding love. Stop pondering on why past relationships didn't work. Obviously those guys weren't the right ones for you, it's not you. You are such a beautiful, intelligent, and successful young woman, you deserve so much better. You deserve to have a man of God, who will love you and will place you and the Lord in special place in his heart where no one else can dwell!!
That was so beautiful Angela! I love it! And i love that you are so open and so honest about you´r feelings! I really can say that i relate to that! I will pray for you to find the kind of love you´r heart desire! Just remeber..Good things come to those who wait;-) Lot´s of hugs from Fey in Sweden:-)
ReplyDeleteI will simply agree with @chillwillbey, but to add another 2 cent Just keep GOD in any relationship or friendship that way you wouldn't be mislead. We youth tend to get caught up with goals, fun and being well in general that we forget everyone has a baggage of life come with before you meet them.. Just learn to know ppl you find interesting, and make sure they balance you for that will only make a PERFECT RELATIONSHIP, then marriage..
ReplyDelete@DOpeYemi.